What about men?

There are many ‘short lived’ trends on Facebook and most are funny stories and such but none as viral as this video as I’ve for the last 3 days seen it on the top of my wall.

It tells the funny rant of a young man in a relationship; about none other than his other half and how being in a relationship with the girl drives him mad because of all the seemingly crazy situations he has to go through. I quote as he erupts: “Bollywood always shows young men and women falling in love but they never show what comes AFTER THAT” (emphasis added)

It struck me as interesting as I was on my way to work this morning as to why such a video might get such unusual attention and it dawned on me that many actually identify with this short sightedness -  that we forget the horrors once you get into a relationship.

My take on this is that the reason why such complaints like the one you see in the video come about is because many who go into relationships forget that it is more than a friendship. That fuzzy feeling you get when you’re together? That’s just an illusion of love. The advertisement. The enticing salesman to get you into the relationship in the first place.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. Because we’re created that way. Wired to be attracted to the opposite sex. If we didn’t have that, our logical mind would have stopped us long ago and humanity would have ceased to exist a long time ago. No man in their right state of mind would do such a thing as get into a relationship. Unless of course that thing called the ‘emotion’ had a say.

But there is blessing in both being in and out of a relationship. The thing that makes a difference is whether you are ready or not for the changes that come when you are in either state.

For me, after a good 3 years in one, I discovered from the Bible that – the thing we call being in a relationship actually requires both to GIVE UP THEMSELVES rather than try to hang on to their old self.

Because being so close to someone actually takes a new level of maturity and ability to look beyond your own needs and begin to attend to the needs of others. A man when born cries when he needs something. We call that a baby. It whines, and cries out for attention. All it cares about are it’s needs. But as that child grows, it learns that there will come times where he will have to forgo his own importance for the sake of others. Letting old people go first, being patient in line. Waiting for everyone to eat before he does.

But when a child can finally and willingly give up his all for another and learn sacrifice, then that boy has learnt at least a bit of what it means to be a man.

 

And in that effect, has learnt a small but significant portion of what it means to love.

1 Corinthians 13:4 – 11 (NIV)

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.